the Black and White cookie

I had missed having a corporate party to go to, the outfit, the nice meal, the usual.  This Christmas party promised to be special because it was at the Gerogia Aquarium.  Among the handouts at the door was this:

So, we left our fishing poles in the car, but were obviously disappointed.  In spite of the early disappointment the evening turned out great.  My personal highlight was meeting a mom that just two weeks earlier had tried giving me a hard time about her kids, she was sloshed and spilled her pork on my exposed toes.  I would have liked to tak it one step further and demand an apology since I was Jewish (except I’m not of course), but the husbands intervened and I am just left with lotsa HAND….(The Pez Dispenser):

George: No everything is *not* going good. I’m very uncomfortable. I have

no power. I mean, why should she have the upper hand. *Once* in

my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand– no hand at

all. She has the hand; I have *no* hand…

George: How do I get the hand?

Jerry: We all want the hand. Hand is tough to get. You gotta get the

hand right from the opening.

Thirteen Things I am Going to do FYI - “Tag Applied For” is what those in the rural (& not-so-rural) South write on their cars while they are or are not waiting on license plates. Of course, noted within 5 minutes of each other, a professionally printed version on an UPS vehicle and also available in cardboard in the back window of a Ford Tempo. 1. Write a children’s book. 2. Retire Early. 3. Start writing my newsletter again. 4. Finish my master’s paper, since I was accepted to present it at this year’s NCTM! 5. Guess I already told you #5, present at the NCTM. 6. Hang the rest of my posters in my classroom. 7. Finish repotting my houseplants (started over the long weekend) 8. Reorganize my closet. 9. Sell some of the crap I stupidly moved down here, EBay?!? 10. Weed the front bed. 11. Get back on respectable Law & Order viewing schedule. 12. Finish unpacking the basement, maybe, someday. 13. Keep a regular yoga schedule.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

1. I passed four confederate flags on my way home from work today, just 13 miles
   (remind me to tell you the story of the day after GA changed their state flag)
2. Large diet cherry limeades….mmmmmm…..10 cals 32 oz
3. “Yes ma’am”
4. Seperation of agnostics(atheists) and state
5. “Thank you” (but, say it like the Brenda Lee character from The Closer)
6. Fried green tomatoes at Folks
7. Everyone cooks, well
8. No (noteworthy) unions
9. The heat (in August)
10. The heat (come January)
11. Living in Hardiness Zone 7b
12. Living in the country
13. Living in a great new house

Which of these do you think (I think) are good/bad?

First day of school with the kids yesterday.  The kids were coming to the Middle School for the first time.  Three elementary schools merge into our school and for the first year any parent that has a student attending a non-AYP school can send their child to an AYP school, which is us.
Being a new teacher to the school, along with three other brand new teachers to the profession, I was given bus duty. 
Have you been outside in America lately? 
How about in Georgia?  In the parking lot?
So….it’s the first day of school and the major NFL camp literally across the road is having a free publicity day.  Spectators were parked in our bus loop, parents had the road jammed picking their kiddies up and fans were trying to get in and out of the football training camp.  Accordingly the duty took longer then usual.
I walked to the bus ramp at 3:30 and left at 4:30.  I had been dressed nice for the first day of school.  I swear I seriously thought about taking of my bra.  It was soaked along with everything else of course. 
When I finally got into the car to drive home (fun because of all the traffic) the thermometer read 103* after I was driving at a pretty good clip.

I have to do something about “Bus Duty” before I die next week.

The kids bussing in from other schools also gave me the queems.  I wonder if this is what the original desegregation looked like (minus the pro-team across the street)?

Did I mention that in my classroom, and apparently every classroom in the building is a framed, color, patriotic picture that says “In God We Trust” and goes on to tell when it was added to The Pledge. *sigh*  I told my husband & several of my old co-workers that I would show up & actively try not to run my mouth / swear right off the bat…….. ARGH…..then why is that in my public school classroom?!?

Curriculum planning today anyhow, as we were going through the standards one of the other teachers started talking about “Soul Formation.”  What the Heck?  I mean how much can a public school teacher be expected to take?  Again, I was trying to keep my mouth shut & eyes and ears open … I couldn’t wait to see what this was about! 

 She was saying “Soil Formation” and that ladies and gentlemen is something I am comfortable teaching.

My DH drove back to Michigan from Georgia .Friday.  Somehow we got talking about recycling/returning pop cans  and he said he just throws them away down there, but right now he has a big bag of cans.  He actually rented a huge rental to drive back, a Grand Marquee (sp?), but didn't think to try this scam…….it is honestly such an embarassment that he 'forgot' about this.  I imagine as time goes by and we get further and further from the original air dates, with Friday mornings spent disectiong the lessons of Seinfeld, these things are going to happen, *sigh.*

Seinfeld, The Bottle Deposit:

"NEWMAN: (peering at bottle label) What is this 'MI, ten cents'?

KRAMER: That's Michigan. In Michigan you get ten cents.

NEWMAN: Ten cents!?

KRAMER: Yeah.

NEWMAN: Wait a minute. You mean you get five cents here, and ten cents

there. You could round up bottles here and run 'em out to Michigan for the

difference.

KRAMER: No, it doesn't work.

NEWMAN: What d'you mean it doesn't work? You get enough bottles

together…

KRAMER: Yeah, you overload your inventory and you blow your margins on

gasoline. Trust me, it doesn't work.

JERRY: (re-entering) Hey, you're not talking that Michigan deposit

bottle scam again, are you?"

I am in Bizarro World (ref: The Bizarro Jerry).

It's like I wanted to go to Monk's, but I went to Reggie's; I'm filled with nothing but regret, experience nothing but disorientation and e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g is the opposite!

My DH wanted to send me a couple of papers.  One he wanted me to get quickly, so last Saturday he sent it out Priority Mail…..the second paper wasn't such a rush, so he mailed it regular mail, it was picked up Monday after 4PM.  On Thursday I got the regularly mailed paper and the "Priority Mail" on Friday.  I encouraged him to go to the Post Office he had mailed them from and he did so on Wednesday.  When he was explaining the situation to the lady (that he gave the Prioity Mail to) she had to ask him what the current day of the week was.  He was such a sport, he finished talking to her.  I woudl have entertained just leaving, but that's where I'm gonna live - Bizarro World!

I have a friend that is sick with cancer, at age 30.  I am supposed to be going to bridal & baby showers, weddings and such at this time.  WTF?  I am totally angry about this and don't even have to deal with it everyday like my friend does….see Bizarro World.

I live in a country that doesn't even seem to represent me.  I think they are going to make abortion illegal soon, kick out the "illegals" that are pursuing the American dream because of National Security and all I want to know is:
…because I need something to shake this trend up - - - AGAIN, Bizarro World!

Scenario: Your spouse encounters a great job offer, it is about 900 miles south of where you live.  He must go in Jan., you must stay until June.

What would I do you ask?  I am a money-grubbing whore apparently, because I said go for it.  He is now living in Georgia while I continue on in Michigan…

Oh, there is more.  I will continue teaching in The South.  I am currently being raking over hot coals by the Georgia Prof. Standards Commission (GA schools rank 37th, Michigan ranks 7th - approximately, but you get the idea) for the certification grant I will receive.  The predicted outcome is I will be qualified to teach Science in the Middle grades.  Sounds good, until you factor in the facts that:

Georgia wanted to ban the word evolution from the state's curriculum.

Georgia May Approve Bible as Textbook.(Teacher Joke: I don't think I am highly qualified for that one)

So… I am going to teach science, in Georgia, without Evolution and with The Bible as a text.  *yep*