Jerry’s Moment of Zen

Do you remeber "The Jacket" episode, where Jerry buys that nice suede jacket & then Elaine's bully of a father will not be seen with him if he turns it insode out, ala candystriper?

I watch this last night and marvel that at the end of the episode Jerry doesn't bring up his ruined jacket to Elaine, even when Elaine suggests that he "should have turned it inside out" in the snow.

Let me just say the writers knew better than to ever try & pass that off as anything a woman would ever do – let alone my alter ego Lainey!

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week from John Stossel; who cannot be related to any teachers

20/20: Myths, Lies and Downright Stupidity: 5/12/06

John does not believe teachers sre underpaid & implies they are really OVERPAID; enjoy quotes from this prick:

“The average public school teacher makes $45,000 a year. That’s $7,000 more than the average wage in America.” Now just the act of averaging is (intentionally?)misleading (What type of average, etc.?).  Ask any teacher who has moved between states.  45k in CA laughable, 45k in NM GOLDEN.  Where I work now people who make office furniture in factories and people who put automotive parts together make more money than me the one teaching their children.  Let’s not try and make it sound like I’ve taken a vow of poverty here, but I actually have student loans to pay back for my college, GM workers…..Steelcase workers…..not so much. 
If instead of teaching I was just babysitting at $5/hr. my five contact hours with 30 kids per hour would gross me $750/day – I don’t make that & I am doing more than just making sure they don’t eat glue- I am actually teaching, assessing and reporting while giving them guidance…..

“Also, remember teachers are paid for just nine months of work. They have the summer off. Some work summer school, others relax. Some teachers take the time off to relax, go to spas. One teacher I talked to said he went to Mexico for two months.“
That’s right and if you ever closed the door behind yourself and had to pull off a math lesson with thirty 13 year olds, not a wise ass one time interview with novelty items like cameras, but equations with x and y, you’d see why I need a little recouperation time.  However, I actually preferred working in a year round school, I voted for 210 work days in that same year round school, but the wise souls int he state legis.  had a different idea.  DO NOT insinuate I AM LAZY. 
There are only so many jobs you can pick up seasonally anyway, ask your teenage son, or any local migrant workers.  I MFing love the remark about going to SPAs, yep, that’s what we all do, jackass.  Most teachers I know use xanax as their vacation of choice, idiot (in my best Napolean D. voice).
Everyone LOVES the nine month deal, but we take work home with us jerk, I correct 90 tests overnight so the kids get the immediate feedback & I can get through my entire year in nine months, not my idea, complain to state legis.  Countries around the world shame us with the days their students attend…..teachers are not the whipping boy for this.  You ask parents if they want to extend the school year & see the response.

“…but the summer off means when you calculate teachers’ hourly wages, you find teachers make more than chemists, physical therapists, psychologists, registered nurses, aircraft mechanics and firefighters.” I doubt this highly, I’d love to see the source material, he never includes any charts, data, just his droning whine here.  If I was only paid as a babysitter I’d defend this, cause some of kids act like jerks while away from home.  But I am not even paid at that level & I am expected to produce a product & not just paid for my time & efforts.  Look at the list of people he compares my pay to, the only close comparable jobs are RN/PT – they produce a product and their caring/cheerleading can also produce another product.  Sure, please, pay me what they make.  JS has distorted the facts to make it sound like teachers are skipping by with little to no effort & that TEACHERS are whats wrong with education today…..I submit what is wrong with education today can be found the further away from the classroom you get.

Don’t get me started on COLA.  Most of the raises I have experienced come from my going to college to get to the next paystep, you know incurring more debt.

” ‘It’s about the kids,’ one teacher said. ‘I’m not a teacher for money, because I’d be a lawyer if I wanted money. I teach because I love kids.’

That’s right. “

WTF does that mean?  Where did he prove his/any point????  Is the message that they can pay us pennies on the dollar since many teachers view their job as a calling?  Does he think lawyers should make all the money?  Who’s proofing his copy?  I know some 7th grade Language Arts teachers if he needs help….. I just submit this as proof that JS is an unrivalled whiner and idiot….

Thanks for the Teacher Appreciation present John, I am sure your teachers are ashamed. 

 

UPDATED 4/15/09:
Oh no, he didn’t . . .  When I returned to school after Springs Break I checked by email & found an email about how John Stossel was offering to help me, help me insinuate himself on my students . . .

EMAIL:
From: John Stossel [mailto:dvd@stosselintheclassroom.net]
Sent: Wednesday, April 08, 2009 4:51 PM
To:  ME
Subject: John Stossel’s 2009 DVD for teachers

 Dear Educator,

If you haven’t already had the opportunity to sign up for our FREE 2009 DVD, we’d like to encourage you to place your order now!

This new DVD — the 2009 Edition — includes 8 specially-selected segments from 20/20 for use in your classroom, on the topics of Global Warming Debate, Federal Spending, “Running” the Country, Debt and Responsibility, Prediction Markets, Swimming and Lawsuits, Healthcare and Profit, and Costs of “Free” Healthcare.

Teachers say my free classroom DVDs excite students:

“John Stossel’s ‘Stossel in the Classroom’ series is simply wonderful! My students have created classroom debates with the issues he covers. We break into teams, research the topic by polling people in our community, finding articles on the Internet, and use prior knowledge to form the foundation for each side’s argument. The students have so much fun.”

– Barbara Tilt, USA Highschool, Michigan

For more information about this TOTALLY FREE DVD, including segment descriptions, or to place your order, please click the link below or paste it into your browser: http://stosselintheclassroom.org/selectdvd.php?source=IZZ6

Feel free to forward this email to other teachers who might appreciate this opportunity.

Sincerely,
John Stossel

P.S. If you have trouble accessing our site, you can place your order or ask for more information by replying to this email.

We apologize if this offer is not of interest to you.
If you prefer not to receive email from us again,
please CLICK THIS LINK TO UNSUBSCRIBE from future emails:
http://stosselintheclassroom.org/unsub.php

—————————————————-
Stossel in the Classroom is a project of The Center for Independent Thought
73 Spring Street, Suite 408, New York, NY 10012
Email: custsvc@stosselintheclassroom.org

MY REPLY:
I would NEVER buy/accept ANYTHING from John Stossel or 20/20 in his name – EVEN IF IT WAS FREE.

He said/implied teachers were overpaid – GIVE ME A BREAK! http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Stossel/story?id=1955153

T13 – Student Quotes

From the last week, 7th & 8th grades, except for # 13 & 6 – those are just keepers.  From various classes/subjects, but all kids that I have allegedly taught:

1. The teacher asks what the range is if a measurement is 1 cm +/-.2 cm….  He got incorrect answers fromt he three on the project & had to ask the whole class.

2. "And…why are they not telling us what these letters stand for?" When learning to simplify algebaric expressions.

3. When asked to compare 100,000 and 1,000,000 they tried to convince the teacher "they are the same….isn't it just another way of saying the same thing?"

4. A student trying to construct a circle with a diameter of 61cm has a pencil at the end of a 61cm length of string and cannot figure out why "the paper is too small."

5.  The teacher asked students to measure in centimeters: "Hey this one only has millimeters!"

6. (When asked to define Kristallnacht) "A farmer and a dog were painted on a barn."

7. "If I put x down as my answer will you solve for it?"

8. "anal-o-gy" I stopped a student from sounding out this word too late. 

9. "What day is it?" 

10. "How do you spell Jacob?" asked a student named Jacob, who goes by Jake. 

11. "I'm just wondering what this movie (The Lost Battalion) has to do with coats of arms and Romans?"   

12. What's half of 61? (teacher answers 12)  Student reports to partner & says "It's 12." 

13. (Pointing to a coffee cup with the antidepressant drug name Lexipro on it) "Hey, I take that too!"

PayPal Phishing Looks Very Real!

Of course my DH had every reason to worry I'd click on something looking THIS REAL.  The only reason I rarely fall for these is that I acknowledge, nay embrace, my ignorance & usually go through & type the URL, so I know I really get where I think Iam going…..

THanks all the same Dear!

Spring = Stress

It isn't enough that I am leaving a group I LOVE to death, but I have mucho drama outside the classroom too.

I was honored to get an invite to speak to Grand Rapids Public Schools about my Math Vocabulary.  GRPS is a large distrcit in Michigan & the lady who invited me to do so is no slouch either.  She'll be running the Michigan Reading Conference for 2007 too (fingers crossed I get an invite to travel back to MICH to present there also).  It appears though, no matter how cool she is not bound by the same time/space contium I am.  She emailed me last week & said yada yada yada and see you Tuesday, months ago she said Thursday.  WHen I asked she said, "Oh, did I say Thursday? I meant Tuesday."  Oh..well…that makes it all just go away now doesn't it?  Love her, love this opportunity, not going to say anything else, maybe in a few years IF I ever get as important as her.   Luckily, I was able to cancel my other class at the ISD for that same night, whew.  Hey, now I have the resume credit for both, gotta love it!

I was invited to be the speaker at the NJHS induction.  AWWWWW…..remember, Spring, no air & all the relatives this kids can pack in the UNair conditioned gym.  I am so gonna sweat.

Gotta go, guess what presentation I am "freshening up" (read: creating)?
Yes, the one I present tomorrow!

Maybe Mexicans will stay Home & get HIGH…

But Republicans can dream, can't they?

Only a third world country would have the balls to do this, right?  But hasn't Canada introduced easing penalties on MJ smokers? 

Yeah, that Vicente Fox is really sticking it to us, he'll take our coked up college kids & we'll take his ridiculously hard workers……he sure stuck it to us again, huh?

Thursday Thirteen

Reasons I am Freaking Out:

1.My Computer is crashed & my DH is outta of the state.  I have a big presentation Tuesday & do not have access to most of my data. 
2. Tech guy at work tells me (after my emailing requests since the start of April) that now he thinks he cannot find my last year's data.
3. Tech guy had the balls to ask, "didn't I already do this for you?" I had to remind him that I requested another set of data, but eventually I just gave up….this is another request.
4. My cousin is working in the house again – it's not too stressful – just invasive.
5. I have to start boxing up my classroom soon…I am not making any sudden movements…..
6. My thesis will (obvs) NOT be completed this Spring, that means I will wallow in it from another state….another school.
7. I wonder if I slipping back into a slight depression, the xanax sound really good lately.
8. I didn't mow the (uneven) grass lasat night & last night may have been the last non-rainy day for awhile.
9. I haven't read the "easy read" my fav uncle gave me to read – we're talking under 200 pages here folks, geez.
10. I have to paint rooms – I get a little 'perfectionist' about that I guess; I don't paint perfect – see the potential stress?
11. Daisy misses Buddy Lee, she is very needy & always under foot, always a consideration in how long I stay anywhere.
12. I miss my husband.
13.My Computer is crashed & my DH is outta of the state.  I have a big presentation Tuesday & do not have access to most of my data…YES, I am still freaking out about that!

Student Presentation Quote

Today a student presenting in Science class, on the constellation Cassiopeia and said:

Cassiopeia had a "bustful mother."  Not one kid in the entire 7th grade science class seemed to notice.

Immigrants Protest, Senator intros English Only Anthem Legis.

Yahoo News Link
This underscores the Repubican ability to entirely deepthroat their own feet…I am sitting in a dark room by myself & am blushing for these id-i-ots.

Lamar Alexander from TN jumped on the haha-my-ancestors-got-here-first bandwagon introducing legis. (nonbinding, so purely to illustrate bigotry/ignorance) THE SAME DAY that hundered of thousands protest anti-immigrant legislation.  Timing?  Let's up the ante, Lamar was proud to point out that Frist is in support of this also….

These dweebs even make Condi Rice look liberal!  She was on Face the Nation and evaded Republican Foot-in-Mouth Disease by saying (from Yahoo news) she had heard the anthem done in musical genres ranging from rap to classical.  "From my point of view, people expressing themselves as wanting to be Americans is a good thing."

*sigh*

Oh Brother, Blogitive….

Well, initially I liked this program.  Sure, small cash, but I felt like I was passing my mini "writing assignments" from my random online teacher…..

My first bump in the road was there was no fee for referrals….the first email I received  from service implied that because they were beta they hadn't done it, implying "betas" don;t do that.  Well, I don't think that is nec. true, but…..I let it go.

My second clue was that they wouldn't accept my WordPress Blog.  And yes, I was pissed then, but I felt like I had a good thing going & didn't want to rock the boat.

The thumping on the head with the hammer hint came last night; I had already been paid for three easy-pleasy links included in posts when my last two were rejected.  In fact, they sent me a suggested text, but of course I was to reword it…..So they want my original work to advertise for them, but they want to control the context of my original work.  You know I replied immediately, saying this was no longer worth $5/link for the work involved… I was told that "most bloggers do not have a problem" with this…. I was also told that Blogitive is now "cleaning up" it's links….

Well, aren't I just most bloggers? (to assume I would conform crossed the line)

And so I decided to be a bit caustic in my updating of the post…….here's the crap I am trying to "sell" right now…..I think mostly I am just liking the idea of the protest – I write crap, submit it & they have to take time to read it…….I feel like a jerk today. (See Post)